


The Assignment

by RosalelMadderton



Category: Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Crack, F/M, M/M, Other, This is trash, group chat au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25896268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosalelMadderton/pseuds/RosalelMadderton
Summary: Clary didn't think anything bad would happen if she would throw 14 people into a groupchat to work together on a school project.Including elevators, cats, first kisses and a whole lotta shipping.Oh, and Zara Dearborn.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray/Will Herondale, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood, Tiberius Blackthorn/Kit Rook
Comments: 14
Kudos: 73





	1. Elevators

**Author's Note:**

> !Read this please!
> 
> The first chapter of this AU came together in a tent in south-france when I was on my period and had nothing better to do. I am currently working on my next multi-chaptered story which I both adore and hate, so there won't be any regular updates. I post when I have another chapter done, which can take a week or half a year.
> 
> I will include new characters in later chapters. If you want to see someone special, you can request that in the comments.
> 
> ...this is basically just garbage coming from the teenage-dirtbag i am, enjoy.

Jace: _naturallyblonde_  
Clary: _clartist_  
Simon: _lordmontgomery_  
George: _scottishsheep_  
Isabelle: _hottestintown_  
Alec: _noturbitch_  
Magnus: _magnusbabe_  
Jem: _jemcarstairs_  
Tessa: _t_ _esstess_  
Will: _nevertrustaduck_  
Kit: _aduck_  
Ty: _sherlockholmes_  
Sebastian: _mrgnstrn_  
Zara: _24R4_

GROUP ASSIGNMENT

 _clartist_ added _naturallyblonde, lordmontgomery, scottishsheep, hottestintown, noturbitch, magnusbabe, jemcarstairs, tesstess, nevertrustaduck, aduck, sherlockholmes, mrgnstrn_ and _24R4_

 **clartist** : before yall ask questions, my name is clary and i just spent 2 hours trying to get all your phone numbers

 **clartist** : and we all have that big biology assignment for next month that we have to do together, so yeah

 **clartist** : i thought a groupchat would be great

 **hottestintown** : love watcha doin clary but why do i need to work with zara

 **24R4** : I'm right here, you know?

 **lordmontgomery** : ew punctation

 **scottishsheep** : i dont even know who half of you are, your usernames dont say much

 **aduck** : says you ScOtTiShShEeP

 **scottishsheep** : jsjfjdj im george

 **aduck** : and i'm Kit Herondale

 **aduck** : and sherlockholmes is Ty, he just doesn't like to interact with people

 **aduck** : spent too much time with raphael lately

 **nevertrustaduck** : well i'm will, kits cousin

 **nevertrustaduck** : and tesstess is tessa

 **nevertrustaduck** : and i think you can all imagine who jemcarstairs is

 **mrgnstrn** : sebastian, clary's brother

 **naturallyblonde** : and i'm jace herondale, distant relative of kit and will's

 **naturallyblonde** : and i am currently searching for my sister and my bitch of a brother

 **hottestintown** : im here?

 **hottestintown** : and i already texted

 **naturallyblonde** : ahhh, i just read zara and i decided not to waste my precious life and actually read that

 **24R4** : I-

 **noturbitch** : thats the spirit

 **naturallyblonde** : aLEC WHERE ARE YOU

 **noturbitch** : umn

 **noturbitch** : uh

 **hottestintown** : yes?

 **noturbitch** : well

 **nevertrustaduck** : that moment when you can't make a whole sentence

 **jemcarstairs** : will, be nice

 **hottestintown** : whoever you two are shut up i wanna know what hes saying

 **noturbitch** : so i was at school

 **noturbitch** : and there are those new elevators, and i was tired and had to go to the fourth floor as soon as possible

 **noturbitch** : and everything went fine

 **noturbitch** : but then it abruptly stopped

 **noturbitch** : and now im sitting here

 **lordmontgomery** : sux 2 b u

 **tesstess** : what are you saying? And maybe call the security alec

 **scottishsheep** : he's saying 'sucks to be you' which is nOT VERY NICE SIMON LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR MANNERS

 **noturbitch** : ive tried for ten minutes now, no ones picking up :(

 **naturallyblonde** : well i guess you'll just have to die

 **mrgnstrn** : who's dying?

 **hottestintown** : now seb's interested lol

 **hottestintown** : is anyone still @ school to help my baby brother

 **noturbitch** : i'm over a year older than you-

 **noturbitch** : but yea help me plz

 **lordmontgomery** : the scot and i are already home sorry alec

 **clartist** : jem, will, tessa and i are also out, sorry :(

 **naturallyblonde** : Kit? Ty?

 **sherlockholmes:** I could try to hack into the school's system from here, but the elevator could crash down in the process if I mess up

 **noturbitch** : nO THANK YOU

 **aduck** : sorry, already at home... alec right?

 **nevertrustaduck** : *gideon

 **noturbitch** : stop it

 **aduck** : sebastian? zara? any help from your side?

 **mrgnstrn** : the best i can do is come to the funeral

 **noturbitch** : COULD YOU NOT

 **hottestintown** : calm down alec we'll find someone

 **hottestintown** : zara, i saw you in the building when i left half an hour ago?

 **24R4** : Sorry, already on my bike home.

 **aduck** : you take the bus.

 **aduck** : your bus arrives in ten minutes.

 **aduck** : you don't own a bike.

 **aduck** : ZARA

 **aduck** : I KNOW YOURE READING THIS

 **sherlockholmes** : actually, what about that quiet person who doesn't text?

 **jemcarstairs** : Magnus?

 **tesstess** : magnus is here?!?!

 **tesstess** : and you just put magnus and quiet in the same sentence?!?!?!?!?!?!??

 **sherlockholmes** : sorry, I don't know him

 **tesstess** : oh no don't feel bad ty uwu

 **sherlockholmes** : ...ok?

 **tesstess** : it's just very, and i mean VERY, unusal for magnus bane not to be on his phone 24/7

 **tesstess** : i'll call him

 **magnusbane** : STOP STOP STOP

 **magnusbabe** : i am here

 **magnusbabe** : in fact, i've waited to make a dramatic entrance, but tessa brown had to take it away from me

 **tesstess** : my name is tessa GRAY

 **aduck** : tessa GAY* eheh

 **tesstess** : kit

 **sherlockholmes** : kit

 **jemcarstairs** : kit

 **lordmontgomery** : kit

 **scottishsheep** : kit

 **nevertrustaduck** : magnus my man

 **magnusbabe** : will, long time no see

 **jemcarstairs** : You saw each other two hours ago

 **clartist** : magnus bane, did you read all of that doing nothing?

 **magnusbane** : sorry mom

 **magnusbane** : it's just too great to see sheldon in trouble

 **lordmontgomery** : i'm completely fine magnus, thanks for caring

 **lordmontgomery** : noturbitch is alec, and izzy texted he is her brother?

 **magnusbabe** : oh well i don't know both of them and i thought you were hiding another secret sister?

 **lordmontgomery** : my name is not alec?

 **magnusbabe** : welp yeah but

 **noturbitch** : MINE ACTUALLY IS ALEC SO COULD YOU STOP DISCUSSING AND HELP ME

 **magnusbabe** : let me finish my sentence, peasant

 **noturbitch** : FUCK YOU

 **magnusbabe** : ok rude

 **noturbitch** : I'M MENTALLY INSTABLE

 **clartist** : magnus, are you still at school?

 **magnusbabe** : sadly

 **clartist** : then go to the principal's office and tell him he has to get the security team to fix the elevator, since alec's trapped in there iF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE

 **noturbitch** : never thought i'd ever say these words but thank you clary

 **magnusbabe** : you people are so dramatic

 **mrgnstrn** : alec's trapped in an elevator slowly running out of oxygen and is about to be dying a painful suffocation death of course he's being dramatic

 **noturbitch** : D:

 **lordmontgomery** : clary why did you show your brother horror movies when i told you not to

 **aduck** : he is kind of weird, gotta admit that

 **clartist** : i thought nothing bad would happen

 **magnusbabe** : so, me and the security are right now heading to the elevator

 **noturbitch** : oh thank god

 **magnusbabe** : you can call me magnus

 **nevertrustaduck** : but let's be honest, only a lightworm manages to get themselves trapped in an elevator

 **gabriellightwood** : fuck off will

 **nevertrustaduck** : YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THIS GROUPCHAT HOW-

 **noturbitch** : ok i'm confused

 **hottestintown** : and i'm insulted

 **hottestintown** : will, i don't know you, but promise you i'm not like other lightwoods

 **noturbitch** : whats that supposed to mean-

 **nevertrustaduck** : so you're not irritatingly annoying and you DON'T know everything better?

 **nevertrustaduck** : we need a sublte, normal lightwood

 **nevertrustaduck** : please give me one

 **naturallyblonde** : we have a socially awkward turtle lightwood for sale

 **noturbitch** : hey-

 **naturallyblonde** : but apart from him... nah

 **jemcarstairs** : Will, lightwoods aren't always douchebags. Give them a chance.

 **tesstess** : jem carstairs >>>>

 **nevertrustaduck** : don't team up tessa

 **24R4** : Will, I agree with you, Lightwoods are weird

 **aduck** : ZARA YOU DON'T OWN A BIKE

 **24R4** : Shut up.

 **nevertrustaduck** : well lightwoods are still kinda better than you

 **aduck** : TAKE THAT DEARBORN

 **jemcarstairs** : I agree

 **tesstess** : me 2

 **hottestintown** : SEE

 **lordmontgomery** : just give up zara

 **aduck** : magnus, any news from the victim?

 **magnusbabe** : yeah

 **magnusbabe** : so, I've never really met a lightwood before

 **magnusbabe** : but if they're all like this I'll go hiding

 **nevertrustaduck** : what do you mean..?

 **magnusbabe** : so, the three security guys (who are just normal teachers) had to get the doors of the elevator to open, since they got stuck in some kind of way

 **magnusbabe** : so, after two minutes they got it right and the doors opened

 **magnusbabe** : and what I see is some guy who looks like will sitting in the corner of that elevator, sipping on a strawberry smoothie and watching umbrella academy on his phone

 **magnusbabe** : but when he noticed us he jumped out of that elevator and threw the most exotic insults I've ever heard at those three guys

 **magnusbabe** : oh and he also threw his smoothie at a guys face

 **magnusbabe** : I stood next to them watching

 **magnusbabe** : and these three basically ran away from him

 **magnusbabe** : and now he's crying

 **magnusbabe** : got the nerves I guess

 **noturbitch** : they aren't supposed to know that.

 **scottishsheep** : ive been in this chat for fifteen minutes now and i dont regret it this is pure gold

 **lordmontgomery** : ikr

 **aduck** : this alec guy gives me in some ways angsty herondale vibes

 **nevertrustaduck** : i can't believe i'm saying this but ME TOO

 **naturallyblonde** : nah, he only gets like this when hes stressed

 **naturallyblonde** : hes normally all shy and 'wow you called my ugly? im gonna go cry in the corner then'

 **hottestintown** : 'wow you think im average? thats so nice will you marry me'

 **jemcarstairs** : Leave the poor kid alone

 **magnusbabe** : the 'poor kid' just called me a shit eating fuckwad and stomped down the stairs

 **magnusbabe** : ...he tripped

 **magnusbabe** : and he fell

 **tesstess** : like ragnor slskkksks

 **magnusbabe** : I made sure he's okay, and now he's apologizing

 **magnusbabe** : he noticed I'm texting and is bitching around again

 **magnusbabe** : ...annnnd he apologized

 **magnusbabe** : he's cute I'm gonna hug him

 **magnusbabe** : goodbye

 **nevertrustaduck** : damn that kid had mood swings

 **jemcarstairs** : He's older than you Will

 **clartist** : soooo now that the problem with alec is solved, does anyone wanna start with ideas for the assignment?

 **aduck** : no

 **aduck** : bye

 **clartist** : hey-


	2. Coming out #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this, oh welp
> 
> And I am still torn if I should get Simon and Izzy or Simon and George together. Help me out.

GROUP ASSIGNMENT

 **clartist** : now, since you all haven't really been helpful yesterday, any ideas?

 **jemcarstairs** : Will, Tessa and I had an idea. It's rather complex though, wanna meet up sometime?

 **clartist** : of course, when are y'all free?

 **lordmontgomery** : good luck with finding a date that works with everyone

 **clartist** : everyone who isn't free can get the information over text, I'll post everything in here

 **clartist** : how's six in the library for you?

 **nevertrustaduck** : works for me and tess and jem

 **scottishsheep** : i'll be thereee

 **hottestintown** : jace can come

 **24R4** : And you know that... how?

 **hottestintown** : I'm gonna threaten him in case he shouldn't go willingly :)

 **lordmontgomery** : with?

 **noturbitch** : ducks

 **aduck** : YEEEEES

 **nevertrustaduck** : that's why i don't like lightworms

 **nevertrustaduck** : this gets to the point where im almost afraid of them ughhhh

 **naturallyblonde** : 💫f⚡e⚡e⚡l💫 💫 y⚡o⚡u💫

 **lordmontgomery** : aaaand he's being extra again

 **noturbitch** : you get used to it

 **naturallyblonde** : you both are  
i💕r💫r💕e💫l💕e💫v💕a💫n💕t💫

 **nevertrustaduck** : ugh leave the hearts they spread too much positive energy

 **magnusbabe** : people tell me I'm extravagant

 **magnusbabe** : have they ever seen the herondales? because I think they are pretty

 **aduck** : ngaw thanks

 **naturallyblonde** : trust me i know

 **magnusbabe** :  
o🤡v💎e🤡r💎d🤡r💎a🤡m💎a🤡t💎i🤡c

 **magnusbabe** : pretty overdramatic <33333

 **magnusbabe** : and that's coming from ME

 **aduck** : oh cmon the other two are worse.

 **sherlockholmes** : You literally fought over I quote: 'my precious angst crown' with Matthew last week.

 **aduck** : WELL IT CLEARLY DOESN'T BELONG TO HIM

 **lordmontgomery** : it belongs to me actually

 **naturallyblonde** : oh dudie, no ❤

 **naturallyblonde** : you're here chilling with your boyfriend of three years, and here I am, not capable of falling in love at all

 **naturallyblonde** : my lonely heart will always be the one of a warrior, the best on it's own.

 **hottestintown** : you literally came too late for school this morning because you saw a dog on your way.

 **naturallyblonde** : ANIMALS DON'T COUNT

 **noturbitch** : wait wait wait

 **noturbitch** : simon has a boyfriend?

 **noturbitch** : how????

 **lordmontgomery** : WHAT MADE YOU SO MEAN

 **lordmontgomery** : and wtf, alec's right, I don't even have a boyfriend

 **lordmontgomery** : or girlfriend, for that matter

 **lordmontgomery** : or neither

 **lordmontgomery** : wow i'm lonely

 **aduck** : wait jace and i thought george was your boyfriend?

 **scottishsheep** : i-

 **scottishheep** : nO

 **lordmontgomery** : okay that would be weeeird

 **clartist** : But hey Si, I never knew you were part of the lgbtq+ community? Proud of u :D

 **magnusbabe** : I didn't either, so you're pan Samuel?

 **hottestintown** : ...simon?

 **scottishsheep** : he didn't realise he just outed himself, smart as he is lol

 **scottishsheep** : he's kind of frozen now

 **tesstess** : kit, PLEASE NO, spare us

 **aduck** : LET IT GO

 **tesstess** : no...

 **aduck** : LET IT GO

 **aduck** : CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE

 **sherlockholmes** : I think it's bedtime, Kit.

 **jemcarstairs** : probably

 **aduck** : it's eight in the evening D:::

 **scottishsheep** : simon unfroze

 **lordmontgomery** : to answer your question Magnus, yes i'm pan, realized it when I was fourteen

 **lordmontgomery** : (and my name is simon)

 **lordmontgomery** : Clary, sorry that i didn't tell you sooner, it just takes so much courage and i lack of courage

 **lordmontgomery** : nobody of you is homophobic or something like that am i right??

 **tesstess** : oh of course not :)

 **naturallyblonde** : bullshit, of course we're not

 **mrgnstrn** : i don't really care

 **noturbitch** : nope

 **24R4** : ...

 **nevertrustaduck** : oh fuck off already.

 **jemcarstairs** : Will.

 **nevertrustaduck** : no im serious, if you dont accept us then shut up zara.

 **24R4** : It's just, in my personal opinion every child needs a mom and dad, sorry 🙃

 **magnusbabe** : I would gladly have this discussion, but I'd rather count Clary's hair than talk to you oop

 **24R4** : I didn't say anything hurtful, no need to go off on me like that. The bible says it's wrong, like, you can't just ignore that. And those people are always so difficult, and I just don't get why they don't just stay in the background if they don't want to get bullied...

 **noturbitch** : bye <3

** noturbitch ** _removed_ ** 24R4 ** _from the chat_

**aduck** : OH THANK YOU

 **lordmontgomery** : thanks Alec

 **hottestintown** : didn't i raise him well?

 **naturallyblonde** : that was all me iz

 **hottestintown** : bullshit

 **magnusbabe** : alec, are you also part of the community orrr

 **noturbitch** : no i am straight, I just support you guys

 **aduck** : you gays* heheh

 **tesstess** : kit

 **magnusbabe** : oh okay :)

 **clartist** : where does Zaras homophobia come from though?

 **sherlockholmes** : Her dad Horace if I'm not mistaken

 **tesstess** : you're not, he's some rich trashcan dude with ugly greasy hair

 **jemcarstairs** : yeah

 **magnusbabe** : his hair _is_ disgusting

 **magnusbabe** : but he owns some big company here in NY that makes a shit ton of money

 **magnusbabe** : do you guys remember that big uproar last month because of some racist ad?

 **magnusbabe** : that was him .-.

 **tesstess** : oh what a douche

 **sherlockholmes** : What kind of company?

 **magnusbabe** : okay this is weird but

 **magnusbabe** : THEY MAKE ELEVATORS

 **noturbitch** : NO

 **magnusbabe** : YES

 **sherlockholmes** : Oh okay xD

 **aduck** : THAT'S why she refused to help little Allie yesterday!

 **naturallyblonde** : ALLIE SKEJBFISVFK

 **lordmontgomery** : oh my god wkdjwjsiis

 **noturbitch** : CHRISTOPHER JONATHAN HERONDALE

 **aduck** : yes?

 **noturbitch** : stop.

 **noturbitch** : youre being mean.

 **scottishsheep** : how is it though that Jace and Kit have the same name, just a little mixed up?

 **lordmontgomery** : herondales, they're not the biggest of brains

 **nevertrustaduck** : offense fully taken.

 **mrgnstrn** : My name is also Jonathan Christopher, FYI

 **scottishsheep** : wha-

 **hottestintown** : just call the prettier herondale kit, the other herondale jace and clarys dude sebastian.

 **naturallyblonde** : HE'S SO NOT PRETTIER THAN ME

 **scottishsheep** : why sebastian??

 **hottestintown** : long story.

 **sherlockholmes** : You forgot the other Kit, Christopher Lightwood

 **scottishsheep** : now what comes next?

 **scottishsheep** : another jonathan?

 **tesstess** : in fact, some acient dude is named jonathan shadowhunter and I think he's somehow related to the herondales or some other family

 **hottestintown** : oh, and then there's that other alexander lightwood without the gideon!

 **hottestintown** : and the gideon lightwood without the alexander!

 **hottestintown** : it's complicated

 **magnusbabe** : i DoN't hAvE aNy AnCeStOrS i'Ve eVeR MeT BeSiDe mY pArEnTs, bUt yOu kNoW, iGnOrE mE

 **tesstess** : sfdfgdggdfgs

 **lordmontgomery** : me 2, and i'm just a little confused rn

 **aduck** : y'all know nothing, i haven't even started talking about Ty's family eheheh

 **clartist** : oh lord, spare us

 **sherlockholmes** : I love my family, no matter how many they may are

 **clartist** : oh I didn't want to sound like that, I know they mean a lot to you, I'm friends with Helen

 **clartist** : however, I don't now if you all are going to spend the night texting and not learning for the exams tomorrow, but I myself am going to

 **naturallyblonde** : OH CRAP THE EXAMS

 **noturbitch** : I TOLD YOU TO LEARN BUT YOU DIDN'T _LISTEN_

 **naturallyblonde** : OH GODDAMNED FUCKERY

 **hottestintown** : I'm off dealing with these two now.

 **hottestintown** : goodnight everyone

 **magnusbabe** : have fun :'D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nO i aM sTrAiGhT


End file.
